2:01 p.m. - 2007-05-12
Hung Out to Dry
We have another guest conductor in orchestra this week, and he's not entirely consistent. One of the pieces we're doing is the Gershwin piano concerto (I think there's just the one), which has some xylophone. In one spot, the whole orchestra drops out and there's just piano and xylophone for eight measures. The xylophone plays straight sixteenth notes while the piano plays a gazillion notes whose rythmical configuration is something of a mystery to me, as his tempo is none too steady. This is why we have conductors. The problem is, the conductor doesn't really help keep us together during this spot, and there's imprecision between the piano and xylo parts. It's very frustrating to me since I want to be a good accompanist and all, but the piano is really far away and I can't always tell what the conductor is doing and it's really very disorienting. All I can do is plow through my part and listen and watch and hope.
Last night, in the first concert, it didn't go horribly, but it wasn't totally right on either. I felt vexed. During intermission, Tony said, "I think what's happening is he's conducting a different tempo than what the soloist is playing. They're hanging you out to dry." Upon hearing this I immediately felt better. Hung out to dry! I love being hung out to dry. This makes it sound like we're doing some mafia gangster shit instead of playing genteel classical music. Or like we're in a David Mamet movie. You know what it takes to play the xylophone? It takes BRASS BALLS. "Xylophone" literally means "wood sound", from the Greek xylos. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. If you act like you think I'm fucking with you you will be HUNG OUT TO DRY.
Fuck yeah. Orchestra just got a whole lot more less lame!
