12:35 p.m. - 2006-05-12
CURRENT events?!?!?!?!???!!!!!!!??????????
So, a cheesy Hollywood blockbuster about an upside-down disaster-boat just came out amid the backdrop of a stupid, tragic quagmire of a pointless war. Along with a lot of talk about impeaching our paranoid, wire-tap-loving weirdo president, whose poll numbers just sank into the twenties.
MY GOD, MAN, IT'S 1972 AGAIN!
They've done it, those neo-con/fundamentalist/woman-and-brown-skinned-people-hating wack jobs! They've caused TIME TO MOVE BACKWARD!
Which is kind of cool, in a way, since I was born too late to be a beatnik. So, let's see, using January 2001 as the time fulcrum, we've gone back in time eighteen years while ostensibly moving forward not quite five and a half years. Now, barring any sort of complicated logarhythmic complication that neither I nor anyone in the white house can possibly understand and dividing eighteen by 5.5, we're going backward at a rate of 3.2 backward years per forward calandar year. So by the time Team Chimpy is done in January 2009 we should be at around the time the Beatles were on Ed Sullivan for the first time in 1964.
This is disappointing since I don't get to be a beatnik, but also reassuring, since 1964 is a couple years after the Cuban missile crisis. I can't help but think THAT would have gone a little differently had Dick "Shotgun" Cheney been running things back then.
Conclusion: DAMN, it's been a long five years.
