7:28 p.m. - 2005-11-03
They should call it the STARE -amin!
The theremin's been getting a workout lately. Two weeks ago I guested with Milo Jones on a number (Jobim or Gilberto, can't remember the name of it) during his Mother Fool's set, Monday I played the national anthem (see previous post), yesterday I did tracks for the recorded version of a local musical Kia and I are both playing in (Walmartopia) and tonight we're off to a rare Theramones gig. Whew! That's a lot of standing perfectly still and staring spookily into space! (That being ninety percent of theremin playing and all. Like how they say ninety percent of baseball is pitching. Yeah, I know something about sports. I'm not totally effete. Just ninety percent.)
As much as I enjoy manning that beat-frequency oscillator, though, the real treat tonight will be playing in Optometri, partly because the songs are catchy and I like the people in the band but mainly because I play keyboard in a, let's say casual, fashion. Not that that isn't achievement enough, but tonight I'm going for all the marbles. I'm bucking for the title of Laziest Keyboard Player Alive. How do you attain notoriety as the Laziest Keyboard Player Alive, you ask? Look bored and disinterested?
Hah, I've been doing that for years.
Play with only one hand, with the fingers locked into perfect fifths?
This, too, is old hat, good sir.
Not bother to learn the chords to the songs?
Child's play.
No, these are all splendid lazy keyboardist tendencies, but tonight is all about blazing wild new frontiers of sonic apathy. Sure, plenty of lazy keyboardists do all of the above from a standing or sitting or even slouching position.
How many of them do these things while LAYING ON THE STAGE? I humbly submit: one. Me. Geoffrey Brady: Uncontested Laziest Keyboard Player Alive. Tonight's the night, baby. The whole enchilada, the big score. Takin' it to the next level, knockin' it up a notch, take no prisoners, exile on Main Street. Hittin' it outta the park. Yeah, baby.
So, Gentle (hypothetical) Reader, please do forgive me if my next blog entry conveys a new, cocksure attitude. Understand that humility is not among the requisite qualities for one who would be the Laziest Keyboard Player Alive, just as vegetarianism ill-suits the disposition of the mighty tiger. Everything will change, tonight, Dear Reader. Yes, everything and everyone.
None will be the same.
