5:12 p.m. - 2005-10-14
in which I beseech my fellow citizens
I gave someone the finger today. I'm not proud of it, and it didn't feel good. But at the time it seemed necessary.
What happened was, see, I was biking home from the record store, having purchased an instrumental collection by the Ventures. Anticipating a pleasant listening experience once I got home, I was coasting along the bike path at a good clip when I noticed two other cyclists further along on the path riding at more of a snail's gait. No problem, thinks me, I can pass them easily enough, but then I noticed that they were riding abreast, one in each of the two lanes, the rider on the left partially blocking the passing lane. They were glacially proceeding side-by-side, having a no doubt boring conversation when I came up behind them, slowing slightly. Noticing that the woman on the left wasn't hogging the entire lane, that there were a couple feet on her left available, I made my pass. My pass was speedy and precise and I proceeded on.
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY SOMETHING, YOU MORON!" was what one of them yelled at me upon realizing that I had passed them. And that's when Mr. The Finger (left) was deployed. And I went on my way, feeling kind of weirded out by the whole thing. And here's the extra weird thing: There are a lot of people living in Madison who aren't cops who feel compelled to help enforce the traffic laws. I didn't collide with either of these angry bike people or endanger them in any way, I was very careful and safe. But there's a rule written down somewhere that you're supposed to give some kind of aural warning when you're going to pass. Which I almost never do because it seems unnecessary and intrusive. But lots of my fellow Madisonions don't seem able to grapple with breaking any kind of rule, no matter how dumb it seems. At least traffic rules.
I've been yelled at two other times that I can remember by these traffic vigilantes. Once I was running a stop sign on a bike when there was absolutely no traffic and a pedestrian shouted, "STOP SIGNS ARE FOR BIKES TOO!" Doubtless this man who had no bike couldn't stand the thought of someone so priveledged as myself using my bicycle... FOR EVIL. Again, no one was endangered, no lives lost, I was just exercizing my judgement in a really minor way and would begrudge no one doing the same.
Which brings me back to the barely perambulating cow on wheels who called me a moron: WHAT THE FUCK? Isn't there a more deserving target for her rage? People passing you on the bike path, not being able to smoke in bars, property taxes; these seem like pretty small potatoes compared to what some misguided and greedy people are doing to our world. Come on, fellow Madisonians! Can we all get our PRIORITIES in order, please?
